Summer Vacation

Well, summer is here and I just can't seem to keep up with everything. Baseball games, walks to the ice cream parlor, mowing the lawn, etc....so, as if you haven't already noticed...I'm taking my summer vacation and will be stepping away from the blogging.

Please come back and visit me in September.

And a special "thank you" for all of those who "checked" in on me while I've been away....you know who you are!

Things That Make Me Want to Pull My Hair Out

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Continuing in the tradition of lists, that you my viewing public have asked for, my cyber-twin Stacy and I have come up with a combined list of things that make us want to pull our hair out.

SHE SAID:

People that do not return their carts to the cart caddies at grocery or super stores. Even worse the people who actually place that cart behind the car of another so that when that person comes out they have to move the cart to get their own car out.

Our contractors who are anxious to get their work done but are not anxious to pay their bills.

When you call a customer service number for assistance with something and the agents accent is so strong you cannot understand anything they are saying.

The loose ends that appear everywhere in our lives.

Network television programming.

People who use vulgar profanity in public.

Fat chicks in skinny clothes.

Skinny chicks in skimpy, tight fitting clothes; and them wearing them in very inappropriate places; such as in your church's worship band, and she's up on stage in front of thousands of people looking like she's dressed for the bar, not church.

Movies that are made for children but are filled with adult sexual innuendo.

The ADL producing a pamphlet on diversity and tolerance that they intend on distributing in elementary schools across the nation.

People that either sit or stand too close. Hey, your a stranger, BACK OFF!

When I'm in the middle of doing something and my husband calls for me to come and look at something on either the Internet or television and it's completely ridiculous and I just want to look back at him and say "you made me stop what I was doing for this?"

People who play rap music so loud in their cars that you can hear it in yours.

Guys who are still wearing their pants so low you can see their boxers; FASHION ALERT: That trend is over.

People who don't know how to properly use a Round-About; how hard is it to yield to the car on the left?

I SAID:

When my husband gives the baby a Popsicle after I just gave her a bath.

The mailman accidentally putting my neighbor's not-so-clean magazines in my box.

Pulling out of the car wash as it starts to rain.

People who still say "cool beans" and mean it.

People who say "that sucks"and don' mean it.

Doorbells that don' work.

No new comments.

When you remember to click save just as you are moving your mouse up to the disk icon to click, the computer freezes and you loose 12 pages of your thesis.

Not knowing the number on caller-id, so you answer, only to find out it is someone you didn't want to talk to--you just didn't recognize their cell phone number.

Bloggers who use short sentences for effect in every blog. Just.Like.This.

The fact that I'm never sure which one is "dessert" and which one is "desert."

Forgetting that there are tags on clothes for a reason and finding I just turned a really cute GAP sweater from a woman's medium into a toddler's 2T.

The shower could have mildew thick like pink salmon cuts plastered to the wall, but no one else seems to care and will continue to shower therein.

Insults disguised as compliments.

Garbage days when there is no chocolate in the house because the day before, feeling strong and full of will-power, perfectly good chocolate found itself in the trash.

The Case of the Uncooked Mom

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, tonight I will present to you a case which will undoubtedly prove to you the innocence of my client. I will show you all the facts: the dirty kitchen sink, the long-grain rice which was stuck to her sock, and to the chocolate frosting found in well...ummm...we will get to that later in the trial.

Now, where was I? Oh yes, I will prove to you that my client, doting wife and loving mother, was truly the sole responsible party for the dinner presentation on the night of May 1st, 2005.

I will prove to you her husband's late arrival home from work, while yes, admittedly, found Mrs. Gonzales still in the pajamas he kissed her in before he left for work, was greeted into loving arms of enthusiasm, joy, and happiness. My client, while she may be guilty for avoiding cleaning her closet, is innocent of the lavish meal which was placed in front of her family at exactly 7:21pm on that aforementioned evening.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I submit to you a woman who while pregnant with her second child, worked a full-time job, maintained a 4.0 GPA in graduate school, and raised her children with tender loving care. I ask you to look at the accomplishments in Mrs. Gonzales' personal and public life, and challenge you to stretch you minds. Could a woman of this caliber really not cook her family the meal they so deserve?

Thank You.

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, this is a closed case. The defense would have you to believe this woman is completely capable of performing the simple God-given task of providing food for her family. They will attempt to present her as the modern day June Cleaver. But you have to be smarter than that, appearances can be deceiving.

You must judge the facts and not be swayed by her face. We will present to you the numerous witnesses who will testify that they saw Mrs. Gonzales' SUV in several local fast-food drive-thus. The credit card receipt found in said SUV from McDonalds (they do accept credit/debit cards). The best friend who will testify that Mrs. Gonzales admitted to forgetting to feed her son all day long and that Apple Jacks for breakfast are "fine because they have fruit in them." My lawyers will examine her own husband's inability to come up with three things his wife can cook.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, with all do respect, one healthy home-cooked meal does not constitute a true appreciation for the health of one's entire family.

Thank you.

Meet The Bloggers

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My fellow bloggers,

I invite you to our new site "Meet the Bloggers." You can find out more about me and my co-interviewees Jeff, Nettie, and Stacy.

It is a fun way to build the blogging community and get to know some of our fellow bloggers better. Go and check it out. And let me know if I can draft you for an interview.