Write in the Pants

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I am attempting to teach my four-year son to read. We use the book called, Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. If I had written the book I'm not sure I would have called it “EASY,” a better description may have been “Teach Your Child to Read in 100-sit-your-butt-in-the-chair-and-pay-attention Lessons.” Sometimes, I want to put on my old army fatigues and yell, “GET YOUR NOSE IN THE BOOK SON!” Sometimes, I want to pick up the book and throw it against the wall for a dramatic effect. Sometimes, I don’t want to feel guilty for using candy, fruit snacks, and other sweet treats as rewards for reading each and every word—no wonder the kid can’t concentrate.

And I’ve discovered something: I write papers the same way my son does his lessons.

He puts the pencil in his mouth and spins on the chair, I check my email and pick at my belly button. He says, “I don’t want to do it, just one more word and that’s it;” I say to myself, “I don’t want to do it, just one more page and that’s it.” He gets up and walks around; I get up and walk to the pantry. He looks up at the ceiling and wonders when he can play with his Rescue Heroes; I look at my armpits and wonder when was the last time I shaved? He wants to watch cartoons; I want to write in my blog. He calls his sister to come over; I answer the phone when a friend calls. He is easily distracted if someone else walks in the room; I am easily distracted when someone else walks in the room.

Yes, I am going…right now…to finish…my paper…page 8 here I come…can anyone come over in Army fatigues, I need a kick???