Maternal Desires

I sit with my 8-week-old, newborn niece on my lap, flipped over my leg belly side down, while my two-year old tries to be a part of my blog and a permanent part of the baby's head--by sitting directly on top of it. I, as the wonderfully helpful sister that I am, agreed last night to take Baby LeLe (as my two-years olds tongue cannot form the vowel sounds to say Alyssa) to my house for a sleep-over.

This decision--to spend my day off with a fussy newborn--had nothing to do with the fact that my sister has watched my kids a thousand more times than I have ever watched hers, it has nothing to do with the guilt I am still carrying around because of that one time I was really rude and made my sister cry because she wouldn't watch my kids--you would think that two hours was ample advance notice. Nor was it to become the final test for the silent voice that asks me...Are you sure you don't want another one??? No it has nothing to do with these facts, but rather the wonderful kindness and goodness of my heart--because, ladies and gentlemen, that's just the kind of girl I am!!!

After my mini-breakdown last week, of which I'll spare you the dramatic details (none of which require you reporting me to DCFS--I'm not that psycho), my four-year old looked me in the eye and said, "Mom, you need to let go of your anger" and he was right. Apparently, I may need to learn preschool lessons by watching Veggie Tales with my son instead of using it as the babysitter so I can get my housework done. I was a little worried over this last break-down, but ready to redeem myself with an act of kindness.

I found myself on the couch with the baby sleeping in the carrier on the floor (I didn't want to disturb the rest of the family). My sister was beginning to feel a bit stressed out because the baby was keeping her up all night crying. That little girl slept soundly for me, so sound in fact I kept waking up and looking in her little car seat to make sure she was still breathing. Isn't that the way it goes, the minute you give her to someone else she's a perfect angel?

This little bundle of pink flesh has made me smile, made my kids absolutely delighted with a new toy in the house, and even surprisingly made my husband melt with a softness I forgot was there. Even though she is a really good baby and really cute; I have solidified my previous decision to discontinue the "be fruitful and multiply" command in my own personal life. It's final, no more fruit multiplying in this womb thank you very much!

Honey, here's the info, your appointment is scheduled for Thursday at 3:30.