Control Freak

Well, I think today was a very successful day...we ended up in the food court at the mall and I kept my lips tight shut. No french fries, milkshake, or hotdog in this mouth. It took A LOT of self-control, but you know what....I DID IT!!!! I am the only one that decides what goes in my mouth. I am the ONLY one.

I often think about that with my kids...eating is pretty much the only battle they CAN win. Broccoli--mouth tight shut. Asparagus--lips thin as a line. I can make them sit at the dinner table til morning (which I don't do...using this example simply for the illustration) and they can boldly REFUSE to eat the food on their plate. I can use betty-crocker sprinkles to spice up those mashed potatoes (yes, I've tried this). The sprinkles start to bleed, the potatoes get hard, and the colorful mashed potatoes still eventually end up in the garbage. Just like a child refusing to eat...I, too, am the only one that can control what goes into my mouth.

I get a funny picture of my husband and I sitting down to a family dinner. I have a proud look on my face, telling him I'm not going to eat my peas—and by the way “You can’t make me!!!” He gets up out of his chair, points his finger in my face and declares "You will eat your peas young lady or no dessert for you tonight!!!" I stubbornly shake my head and look down. He gets up on the kitchen table, grabs my throat and starts shoveling spoonfuls of peas onto my closed lips. I see green. Smashing green peas everywhere. Peas mushed into the floor by the rolling kitchen chairs, in my face, and in my hair--Peas EVERYWHERE. Split-pea soup for dinner the next night.

Just simply shows how ridiculous it is to think that someone else is responsible for the way I am. Silly isn’t it???????

The irony of this whole not-being-able-to-control-food-issue is the constant desire and acting upon controlling everything and everyone around me. My husband, “Honey turn right at the next stop sign, it’s faster.” My kids, “That is not the right way to make your bed.” My boss, “Well what if we did it this way instead?” I want to control everything I have no control over. And the one thing I CAN control—what goes into my mouth-- I choose not to. If I spent half as much time trying to control myself as I did other people, I would probably be much further along than I am right now. Twisted. Sick. Disappointing.

Proverbs 5:21-23
For the LORD sees clearly what a man does, examining every path he takes. An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his incredible folly.

I read this verse and it floored me. The Lord is not blind to what I do. When I over-indulge it is sin. The Lord is examining the path I am on. My own sins are holding me captive. I can just see it. The French fries, shotguns in hand, waiting to pull the trigger. The chocolate chip cookies, grenade chips ready to pull the plug. The peanut-butter sandwich. All holding me captive, holding me a knife-point screaming at me, as the peanut butter yells out, “SPREAD ME, SPREAD ME, SPREAD ME.” They will kill me and I will die if I refuse to show ‘em whose boss.

I am the only one that can loose myself from the ropes that hold me. I will DIE if I am not able to have self-control.

I Peter 1:13 So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the special blessings that will come to you at the return of Jesus Christ.

There are blessings, special blessings that come as a result of having self-control. Self-control is daily-control. You don’t just turn it on one day and that’s it…it’s on forever. But you continually have to go back and turn it on again and again. That’s why His mercies are new everyday. Every morning when we get up, we have an opportunity to choose to live in the things we can control and not the things we can’t.

I want the special blessing. I’m gonna control to get it!